I talked with a buddy this weekend and he passed along this story..
Steve: I was at a barbeque this weekend and later in the evening I went over to get something to eat and the host told me to be careful with the hot sauce that was out because it was especially hot. Some big 6 foot 2 in , 220 lb black dude was standing there all drunk and said something along the lines of, " That shit's from a grocery store, it can't be hot". The dude then grabbed the bottle and poured it onto his burger like it was catsup...drenching the bun and burger with this sauce.
So the host tells him, " hey man I warned you", but the guy was undeterred and slurred, " I LOVE hot stuff" and started wolfing down the burger.
Well about 30 seconds after finishing the burger the dude went totally white.
Flick: Wait a sec. I thought you said that he's a black guy.
Steve: Yeah, he is....like I said, the motherfucker when white. Then for the next half hour he walked around in a circle sorta like his left leg was 4 inches shorter than his right leg. And he was sweating....bad.
Flick: Holy poop !
Stever: Yeah...then he threw up. And he threw up loudly. Then he passed out and laid there twitching and stuff.
Flick: Holy cow. What did you do.
Steve: What did I do ? Well I thought, " I gotta try me some of this shit !" And I went back over to the table.
Flick: Get the fuck outta here.
Steve: No seriously, I figured if this shit put this dude down, I had to try at least a little bit of it. So I went over and put it on a plate. I grabbed some nacho chips, dipped it in the stuff, sniffed, and gave it a taste.
Flick: Well ?
Steve: The shit was mind blowingly hot. I ate one chip and in the next half hour I drank 13 plastic cups of water.
Steve: Yeah, well that's not the end of it.
Steve: Yeah, since I drank all that water I had to take a wizz. So I went into the bathroom and took a piss...but I didn't wash my hands ahead of time.
Flick: Oh no...don't say it...please to say it.
Steve: Well I went to the bathroom, and left, and went back to the party, no problems.
Steve: Then about ten minutes later it started. First is was a mild itching...then some discomfort...then suddenly my penis was completely on fire.
Flick: What the fuck ?!?! How the fuck does that happen. You didn't stick your finger in your pee hole did you.
Steve: NO MAN !
Flick: Well do you think it rubbed into your underpants and then you were walking around....
Steve: Dude, I'm telling you this shit was like lava. Like habeneros grown in Malaysia or some crazy ass shit. I think the stuff was so nasty that it freakin soaked through my shaft and right down to the urethra. At least that's what that shit felt like !
Flick: What the hell did you do ?
Steve: Well I ran into the dude house and stuck my dick in his sink.
Flick: HIS KITCHEN SINK ?!
Steve: No no no...I went into the bathroom. I didn't want to get my pants and shit wet so I took all that stuff off, then kinda gussied up to the sink. I couldn't quite get it under the faucet, but I could redirect the water enough to get some relief.
Flick: Wait. So you ended up, no pants, no underpants...naked from the waist down...in some dude's bathroom...with your nuts on his porceline and your dick in his sink ?
Steve: This is so going on the blog isn't it.
Flick: Dude, I might have to start a new blog just for this story.