lurking the lurkers

So I can see who's visited this blog based on IP address, ISP, location, and where they linked from...if in fact they clicked a link to this site.

Usually the reading say something like..... 66.765.45.xx, Phila, PA, comcast.net, no referral

But the last couple of weeks I've seen some stuff that's sort of freaking me out.

If the site clicks over from a google search, you can see which keywords were searched. Yesterday someone came to the site searching the words, " get out of going to the prom ".....uhh, good luck dude....if she's already bought her dress you're screwed. If this ends up being a lesson to you about getting engaged, then it will have all been worth in. Just go to the prom...at the very least you'll get to see a lot of boobies on display.

There's someone from Durham, NC that checks in a few times each day, every day. I don't know anyone from Durham. If you're a hot chick..."how ya doin' ? Drop me an email.". If you're some sort of axe murderer, my name last name is Haverstick I think you're a pussy.

But the one that's really creeped me out is that a few weeks ago I wrote about a ficticious website www.hobosexual.com well they're a real website. I aint clicking on it and I wouldn't encourage you to. I think we can all pretty much guess what might be over there. But those folks must check for links to their site and have found me. If any of you people are reading this...go away.....I mean I'm all for helping the homeless...but you guys are some sick bastards.


And now a little story.

When I was 15 years old I contracted pneumonia and had to be taken to the hospital when my fever got to 105 and would not come down.

When they were weighing me in I passed out and they threw me in a bed and hooked me up to an IV and hit me with some ice packs.

As some point during the episode I shit myself.

Now this was in the middle of the night and either no one noticed...or more likely...the night shift nurse figured she'd ignore the obvious and hope that she could leave me for the morning crew. Either way i woke up the next morning with my pants completly filled with shit.

I went to get up to clean myself but between the IVs and the fact that I was completely exhausted and weak, I could not get out of bed. I figured I'd just have to tell the nurse when she came in.

Sure enough the shifts changed and instead of the 60 year old hag that checked him in the night before, my new nurse was totally hot and around 23 years old.

Fuck it. I just resigned myself to having to the fact that I'd just sit in my own shit until the old bag came back. How long could it be ? Eight...maybe twelve hours ?

Unfortunately despite my denials and explanations, the smell finally gave me away. This beautiful angel of mercy was force to clean me up like a 6 month old.

I found the entire experience to be absolutely humiliating......

.... but at the same time oddly stimulating.

Hey man....I WAS 15.

I suppose that goes a long way to explaining a few things.